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A Rejoinder To
Black Brothers And Their White Chics
By
Chizoma Osuagwu
I do agree for the most part with
the points made in the article
Black Brothers And Their White Chics by Uche Nworah.
It is common knowledge that successful and wealthy black
men almost always settle for white women in England or
United States. In one part this is a bit sad for me and
many black women especially as an African.
I am Nigerian; I find pride in
Africa and black people all over the world. It would
make sense to argue that a black man that has finally
made it should bring that wealth back to the same
community that he left behind, and keep the circle of
money within our black communities; marry a black woman
perhaps from the many that stood by these men when they
were nobodies. This would give such women a chance to
thrive and be positive influences to other black people.
These athletes whether they realize
it or not are role models to some extent, young black
men do look up to them and sort of mimic their styles,
dislikes and likes. They wear whatever they wear and
also aspire to hang out where they hang out, in the same
way, they would attempt to date the sort of women that
they date. If successful black men are constantly
marrying white women, it does send a wrong message
across to young black men that black women are only good
when you are poor, once you become someone in life then
leave her for a white woman because she is better.
Now one can easily look at this and
say that white women are more desirable etc, which is a
cop out, with out really looking at the other issues
such as the lives of black men and black women in this
world. Our history is a very painful one which includes
slavery, segregation, apartheid, discrimination, racism,
colonization, and prejudice. We have been taught that
our lives are not valued, we have been taught to hate
every and anything that makes us black and African. Many
black women including myself can remember growing up and
being so conscious of how we looked, wearing clothes to
cover our butts, and biting our lips till they bled so
as not to show its fullness. Meanwhile today women line
the streets of Soho and New York to get lip implants to
look like ours, and butt implants are the rave of the
moment thanks to Beyonce. White women now aspire to have
a rounder butts, braids are now acceptable as a hair
style but they used to be done only by black women as
well as locks. (Who would have thought they wanted to
look like us all along). But the wealthy black man would
rather have a fake black woman with a bronze tan than
the real deal.
We’ve all been through it, as much
as we as Africans and black people claim that we’ve
evolved from the vices of past which kept us down
including segregation, which led to the spread of the
black liberation movement through out the world, we
still have a long way to go to cure ourselves from the
brainwashing and emotional wounds that still run deep in
us all.
A black man that suddenly becomes
successful and feels that a white woman would be his
access card to a more successful career, and also
provide him access to a society that he still feels he
does not rightfully belong has totally lost it. A black
man that does this and also feels somewhat equal if you
will to the white man by feeling that ‘I now have what
you have - your princess, your queen’, and the most
desirable of all the white man’s prize. This is nothing
but propagating the slave’s mentally of ‘I am sleeping
with the Master’s wife’; ‘I am now acceptable in
society, I am some one now, I am accomplished’.
I’ve even heard some white women
say that they are doing these black men a favor because
at least their children would be half white, their lives
a bit better than the rest. Unbelievable but some of
these white women believe that by so doing, they are
serving their own rude justice to the black men.
I am not prejudiced, but do not
sincerely believe that every successful and wealthy
black man is just falling in true love with all these
white women. It is more of “let me just get a white
woman” complex. It makes sense that you will fall in
love with some one of the same background and similar
experiences and commonalities.
Regarding Uche Nworah’s comments
that black women should protest and go and grab Nigerian
footballers before white women do, he should please give
us a break. Does he know how many sisters that may have
attempted this? These black brothers don’t even give
them a chance, have they finished showing off their new
white women (trophies) to the black women? This does not
bother me or many black women any more; why? Because any
man that does not love who he is and does not want to
procreate with another that resembles him has a serious
complex, an inferiority complex.
The idea that marrying a white
woman is going to further their lives, and secure a
better future for their off springs is wrong . I know
some men that have this belief that they can wash off
their blackness by siring precious mixed race children,
those children grow up and marry whites and if the cycle
continues, then at some point we may not have black
people left. To the black sisters out there, I say let
these undeserving brothers go; I do not want a black man
like that, neither do other black woman I know want a
black man like that. To the black brothers, if you
became successful and wealthy without these white women,
what makes you think that black women would bring you
down?
There are so many beautiful,
educated and talented black women out there. Magic
Johnson who was diagnosed with HIV twenty years ago
still has Cookie Johnson on his side, after he went
around cheating her with all these white women and
brought home a disease, was Cookie still not there for
him? Let him try that with a white wife. The average
white chick would want a divorce once things go wrong,
and you can not provide these lifestyles anymore but the
black sisters would always see it out with their black
men.
An American football player is
currently having a very bad divorce with his white
woman, the brother realized he made a mistake and now
wants out, she’s said everything to the public, just
anything to ensure her lifestyle is maintained,
meanwhile the black brother was married to a black woman
before and divorced and the public knew nothing about
this, as the black sister maintained her dignity and
pride. The white woman of course got pregnant for the
guy because that is how she could ensure that she is
covered for the next eighteen years. People say black
women are gold diggers but I think that white women
invented the practice.
As for Kanu Nwankwo, I was proud
when I heard that he came home to marry especially being
from Imo state. This sort of behaviour would encourage
other African footballers to know that it is okay, you
too can find love with your own. It’s not just
footballers or athletes who marry white chics, Koffi
Anan, former secretary of the United Nations and many
talented highly educated black men no longer find
comfort in their own. It just shows us that despite our
many achievements as black people, we still carry
psychological and emotional wounds that still plague us
today, they say these wounds are the hardest to
disappear from our memories.
* *
* * *
Chizoma Osuagwu, a nurse
practitioner whose husband is an attorney, lives in
Atlanta, Georgia. She has been happily married for the
past five years to an Igbo. * *
* * *
posted 8 November 2006 |
